When will I awaken?

 


People with an interest in spirituality and spiritual practices sometimes ask the question, “When will I awaken / become enlightened?”


If you attend workshops by one of the many spiritual teachers around, you will often hear people asking something like this and the question is often asked with some discomfort or sense of suffering, saying things like, “I’ve been following this way / this practice for years and sometimes I feel a bit closer but often I feel no closer than I was at the start. What am I not getting? Why am I not enlightened yet?” You can see an example in the video of a discussion with Rupert Spira that I have linked to in the Bibliography below.


As far as I can tell though, the answer to the original question is, it depends on who you mean by ‘I’. In the Psychosynthesis model of the human mind, which includes many of the features I look for in a model of the mind, it is the ‘I’ that is called the ego or lower self that asks such questions and that part of us does not awaken. I think it is the ‘I’ that is sometimes called the higher self that is always fully awake. (For a brief introduction to Psychosynthesis see Sørensen, 2023.)


This may sound odd because we do experience what we call awakening or enlightenment throughout the mind. One way I think this happens is through practices such as prayer or meditation opening channels within so that increasingly the bliss, peace, wisdom and so on, that are the intrinsic nature of the higher self, come to be experienced by other parts of the mind.


So why do some people have no experience of the awakened state, while others get glimpses; for one or two it comes complete with pyrotechnics (there is a link to the account of Ajahn Mun’s spectacular awakening below) and for a few it is simply their daily reality?


The correct answer is “I have no idea!” People can have a spiritual practice for a short while and yet have a profound breakthrough, or meditate conscientiously for years and report nothing. Some people can have a major breakthrough yet have no practice, no intention to awaken, indeed no awareness that it is even possible – it just hits them out of the blue (see Taylor, 2021, for example)! 


Someone once asked me about this. You can tell she was a psychologist because she didn’t ask, “Are you enlightened?” she asked, “Do you think you’re enlightened?” Nice one! Anyway, I waffled a bit about seeing enlightenment not as a yes/no thing but as a spectrum so all I could say was that I’m on it somewhere and the location varies. 


That seemed to be okay as a response at the time, but how about this: If I go back a few years, most of the time I spent in meditation I experienced as very dull or boring, unless I was feeling particularly stressed that day in which case meditation was a bit of a relief. These days though, I really enjoy it and don’t get bored. It’s like dropping into a still, silent, blissful state. Holding the idea that meditation opens channels to the higher self is enough of a theory for me to continue with this for now so, whatever you want to call it, it feels wonderful and I’m not looking for anything more. Life is good...

Finally then, as far as I can tell, “Am I awake now?” is a more helpful question than “When will I awaken?” because the former question leaves you free to simply notice at any time, whereas the latter tends to keep you looking for something to happen at some other time.

Or how about this hypothetical dialogue?
A. When will I awaken?
B. Are you aware that you are conscious?
A. Yes
B. There you are then!    (Well I thought it was funny…) 

Gan canny!

The qualities of enlightenment are inherent in consciousness but can remain invisible for a long time. The ultimate nature of mind, emptiness endowed with the qualities of supreme enlightenment, is always present in us but remains latent until we recognize it and become familiar with it. Shechen Gyaltsap (1871-1926)


Bibliography and Videography

Sørensen, K. (2023). What is Psychosynthesis? Accessed on 28 October 2023. https://kennethsorensen.dk/en/what-is-psychosynthesis-2/

Spira, R. (2013). Why Am I Not Enlightened Yet? Accessed on 28 October 2023.  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GVCeCqwAkFE&t=3s

Taylor, S. (2021). Extraordinary Awakenings: from trauma to transformation.
Novato, New World Library.

The day of Ajahn Mun's enlightenment: A witness to an extraordinary event. Accessed on 27 October 2023. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SYDh9kJj4fQ

Key words

awakening, enlightenment, higher self, ego, lower self, Psychosynthesis,
 

Image

‘I Am That I Am’ – the altar in one of the chapels in Tewksbury Abbey 

Link

https://herethewaking.blogspot.com/2023/10/when-will-i-awaken.html

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