The Waking

  This blog is a departure from my usual as it is about building deeper, more positive connections with other people. I worked as a psychologist for over 40 years and the studies that I want to describe here are among the most powerful and effective at building such connections. The original studies have faded from public memory, so this seems like a good time to revive them, given how powerfully effective they were at building closeness between people. So… back in 1997, psychologist Arthur Aron developed a set of 36 questions as part of a study titled, ‘The Experimental Generation of Interpersonal Closeness: A Procedure and Some Preliminary Findings,’ (full citation below). These questions were designed to be asked alternately by two people in a structured way, with each set becoming progressively more searching and personal. The goal was to accelerate feelings of closeness and intimacy through mutual self-disclosure, rather than specifically to make people fall in love. However, ...

  Remember, friends, as you pass by, As you are now so once was I. As I am now, so you must be. Prepare yourself to follow me. An old epitaph by Anon. Meditation can be a wonderful practice when someone is getting close to the end of their life . I f this is you, i t can help make your transition more conscious, easier and more peaceful. It can also help face up to the reality of death and prepare to die with acceptance and equanimity. I certainly intend to enjoy more meditation if I have time to prepare when my time comes . If it’s someone else who’s dying, and meditation is not their thing, you can bring a peaceful presence just by sitting quietly nearby. And, of course, you would also be helping busy medical staff, as well as family and friends, by creating a calmer atmosphere. A quick internet search will uncover many meditations on the subject of death itself, intended as preparation. I have always valued simplicity though, so the following is ...