The Waking

  In most countries, the majority of the adult population believe that life after death is either ‘probable’ or ‘certain’, according to surveys carried out by the Pew Research Center between 2023 and 2024. There was wide variation though, ranging from 85% in Indonesia to 38% in Sweden. In the United Kingdom, where I live, the figure is 53% and I count myself in that group. Like many who don’t simply adopt the religion of their family or culture, with the view of the afterlife that goes with that, I have wondered what the afterlife is like and whether anything that I do now will make a difference to the afterlife experience. This blog is a crib sheet of some of my main findings. By the way, before I go on, if anyone who has not studied the afterlife much before wants to get into the topic by looking into the more credible sources, then the Bigelow Institute for Consciousness Studies (BICS) essay competition of 2021 is a good source that is packed with solid information (link below)....

  This blog is a departure from my usual as it is about building deeper, more positive connections with other people. I worked as a psychologist for over 40 years and the studies that I want to describe here are among the most powerful and effective at building such connections. The original studies have faded from public memory, so this seems like a good time to revive them, given how powerfully effective they were at building closeness between people. So… back in 1997, psychologist Arthur Aron developed a set of 36 questions as part of a study titled, ‘The Experimental Generation of Interpersonal Closeness: A Procedure and Some Preliminary Findings,’ (full citation below). These questions were designed to be asked alternately by two people in a structured way, with each set becoming progressively more searching and personal. The goal was to accelerate feelings of closeness and intimacy through mutual self-disclosure, rather than specifically to make people fall in love. However, ...

  Remember, friends, as you pass by, As you are now so once was I. As I am now, so you must be. Prepare yourself to follow me. An old epitaph by Anon. Meditation can be a wonderful practice when someone is getting close to the end of their life . I f this is you, i t can help make your transition more conscious, easier and more peaceful. It can also help face up to the reality of death and prepare to die with acceptance and equanimity. I certainly intend to enjoy more meditation if I have time to prepare when my time comes . If it’s someone else who’s dying, and meditation is not their thing, you can bring a peaceful presence just by sitting quietly nearby. And, of course, you would also be helping busy medical staff, as well as family and friends, by creating a calmer atmosphere. A quick internet search will uncover many meditations on the subject of death itself, intended as preparation. I have always valued simplicity though, so the following is ...